Oh, Sh*t!! : Part One

Have you ever wondered if there are bigger forces in play around you, whilst you go about absorbed in your daily life? Either testing your resolve or rewarding you for good behaviour?

Whilst undecided when it comes to views of God or an ultimate being, there are occasions when I am forced to stop and think about the possibility that someone ... or something ... is making sure I am kept aware that the universe is a LOT bigger than my little world!

Take this past week, for example. Due to tiredness*, I didn't pay attention to what I was doing last Friday night and misplaced** something of great importance to someone who I am very close to.

So close, in fact, that he asked me to be best man*** at his wedding in Sri Lanka.

And he doesn't know ... unless he reads this ...

Whilst visiting family at the weekend, I was reminded of a certain something in my possession that belonged to my cousin ... and I suddenly realised that I couldn't place exactly where it was. It was a definite "Oh, sh*t!" moment: the icy touch of panic flooding through me, the sheen of cold sweat and the sudden urge to fart. Lots.

As soon as I returned home Sunday night I started to trawl the flat, only able to remember my actions up to the point of preparing everything for packing in my bag.

Was it hidden inside my study folder?


Had it slipped down the side of the bed?


Was it with the 'filing', aka, the stack of paper on my shelves?


Are you sure?



Nope, nothing there.

How about the recycling?

Ummm, no.

Oh crap.

That only left one other place to look. I had taken some rubbish out on the Friday night ... could I have done the unspeakable? I didn't think I had, but it was worth checking.

Donning some gloves I had bought previously for clearing up the rubbish that accumulates in the car park (the management company REALLY need to sort this out), I grabbed a torch and headed over to the bin shed§. It was 1:30am, so I didn't want to make a lot of noise as I rifled through the rubbish, trying not to fall into the bins head first.

I soon found my rubbish bag and started to rifle through it...

...nothing. Phew!

So where was it? What safe place had I used? There was no point carrying on as it was late, so I went to bed and hoped to have a dream that told me exactly where to look. Needless to say, it didn't happen.

Monday night, I started trawling through the flat again. Nothing.

Tuesday night. Nothing.

I don't know why I thought it would magically appear, but I did hope that perhaps I had just skimmed over it and not realised I had been looking at it the whole time.


I was screwed.
* * * * *
So you're probably wondering what I lost that was so important?

*Deep breath*

It was the negatives of the official wedding photos taken in Sri Lanka.

* That's my excuse
** Yes, okay, I lost it, but if I say it was misplaced it gives the impression I put it somewhere safe!
*** A title that is open to so many interpretations.
§ It didn't cross my mind until now that I could have been mistaken for an opportunist thief and could have ended up sharing a cell with Mr Ben Dover! *shudder*
Of course, the 'safe place' is actually a euphemism for a place where you never put anything, but you put it there in the belief that because it is not your regular storage space, you are bound to remember the location. Wrong.


Cath said…
It's probably so wrong, but I'm killing myself laughing! I know how worried you were though which is why I feel guilty about laughing so hard.

Disturbingly, I have an image of you rifling through the bins dressed as a bag man!!!

Oh how I wish I'd taken a drive out that night *lol*!
Anonymous said…
Busted! i did happen to read this :-p
I know you said you had misplaced the negatives but i didnt realise to what extent.

Gave me a good laugh anyway :-D

Cheers again for all your help!

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