Thursday, 18 March 2010

Cutest Animal Ever :-)


Don't you think?

Wednesday, 17 March 2010

Things I have learned...

About 1.5 weeks ago, I started working at another customer location, leaving my friends and colleagues behind for a new adventure; unfortunately, the work seems to be following me, even if the people aren't!

During this time, I think I have learned some pretty valuable lessons...

'Teamwork' is insular

Up until now, I've had development environments all to myself.  Being the only Immediacy and .NET developer in my previous position meant that I could work on any code/project without impacting on anyone else's work, or vice versa.

I was King of my domain ... alas no more :-(

Now, it's more like a civilised playgroup, where the 'kids' play with the things that keep them happy which ends up annoying others who, instead of showing their frustration by bashing the culprits round the head with plastic toys (which you have to admit would be fun to watch), instead express themselves with various sighs, grunts and gestures that would make a Neaderthal feel at home.

It's bloody annoying.

I do not need 2 litres of water every day

Whilst it is nice to be in a warm office when it is cold out, a lack of air-con in a room full of hot bodies* and innumerable computers inevitably brings a thirst on.  So, for the past couple of weeks, I have been heading into the office with between 1 and 1.5 litres of fruity water every day, which has a tendency to disappear  pretty much by around lunch time.

"Sip it" I was once told, "or it will just go straight through you".

B*ll*cks!

I've been drinking it little and often and if I have to pee any more today, I'm going to end up as a shrivelled up, dry husk on the floor where I've manage to dessicate myself!

Back to the tea then...

Missing lunch doesn't make you slimmer

I once had an enlightening conversation with my sister that ran along the lines of:

Sis: "I can't wait until you hit 30."
Me: "Why???"
Sis: "Because then you're going to spread!!"

I think she was a bit miffed that I was a svelt 11.5 stone in comparison to her baby weight of unknown proportions.  Well, she can be jealous no longer as her wish appears to be starting to come true.

I always find it hard to settle in a place I don't know and usually end up not eating during the day.  For the odd trip to a customer location, this isn't really a problem and allows me to focus on work for the whole day.  

However, I still haven't settled in at the new office, so I haven't been eating any lunch, instead heading off to the local Sainsburys for a bite before heading home at the end of the day ... and then following it up with anything I can find in the cupboards when I get home, and I do mean anything: my current favourite is two bowls of honey nut cereals ... yes, TWO ... it's so more-ish!!

Needless to say, my waistline is still of the 'chunky' proportions defined at Christmas ... I've already split the seam in the trousers of my favourite suit after crawling around under the desk :-(

That should be more than enough motivation to get me running again!!!

If going to the gents at work, be quick about it

I'm all for energy saving devices but not when it leaves me stranded on the throne, in the dark, wondering if I should just sit there until someone else comes in to trigger the sensor or risk being caught with my pants round my ankles and personal bits on display trying to trigger it myself.


* By hot bodies, I do mean temperature!  There is nothing 'hot' about the peeps here, especially since it's pretty much all guys - no tech-babes, unfortunately :-(

Monday, 15 March 2010

Mother's Day Shocks

It seems I have quite the knack for causing confusion.

Due to changes at work and having to get up so early in the morning to get to the office before the major traffic hits, I had decided not to head down to sunny Somerset to visit the parents, as the return journey would likely be postponed due to watching Come Dine With Me and any other program that would take my mind off the long drive ahead.

However, my inability to prepare anything in advance led to an urgent shopping spree on Saturday for some appropriate presents and the decision that I should really show my face.  Which is exactly what I did, much to the shock of my parents!

As usual, I was late leaving so perhaps went a little faster down the M4 than I should have, though certainly slower than those around me.  Not that that would make any difference to the police chap sat in an unmarked car just outside Swindon, with his speed gun glued to his face like a Picasso-style Borg implant (something along the lines of this one, but a bit more 21st Century).*

Anyway, I digress...

I arrived at my parent's place just before 10:30am and parked the car just round the corner so that if they did see it go past, they might not register it as being me.  I then took the presents from the boot and walked round the block so that I could get to the house without passing the windows, and quietly let myself in with the key - the one that I finally got my hands on after they had been there for ten years!

In the living room, I could hear Mum's craft show wittering on about the latest offers so crept up the hallway and stuck my head round the door.  I know, it was a bit risky as you don't know how people will react to an unexpected face appearing inside the house - if it happened to me, I'd freak out.  Then again, from my perspective, it was just as risky as I could have been walking in on some activities not intended for my innocent eyes ... nah, they're my parents, they don't do that kind of thing ... at least, not in the living room, anyway.

Mum was in her usual position, poised over her new DSi XL whilst my Dad was dozing on the other sofa, trying to fight off the latest cold; both were in their nightgowns.

So as not to freak them out too much, I just said a quiet "Hello", thinking I'd just get a bit of a jump and some fuss for turning up unannounced.  It didn't quite work like that and I think I came close to hospitalising Dad from the shock: on hearing my voice, Mum let out a high pitched "Oooooooooooo" noise and jumped up from the sofa, which in turn caused my Dad in his slumber to switch instantly to protect mode and unsuccessfully launch himself off the sofa and land on his knees, ooo-oooooohing like a confused owl.

I think I'll use the doorbell from now on - it's safer that way!



* Shit!  I've had a clean license since 1988** and now it is to be tarnished :-(
** Holy crap, I feel old now - 22 years!!!!