Monday, 15 March 2010

Mother's Day Shocks

It seems I have quite the knack for causing confusion.

Due to changes at work and having to get up so early in the morning to get to the office before the major traffic hits, I had decided not to head down to sunny Somerset to visit the parents, as the return journey would likely be postponed due to watching Come Dine With Me and any other program that would take my mind off the long drive ahead.

However, my inability to prepare anything in advance led to an urgent shopping spree on Saturday for some appropriate presents and the decision that I should really show my face.  Which is exactly what I did, much to the shock of my parents!

As usual, I was late leaving so perhaps went a little faster down the M4 than I should have, though certainly slower than those around me.  Not that that would make any difference to the police chap sat in an unmarked car just outside Swindon, with his speed gun glued to his face like a Picasso-style Borg implant (something along the lines of this one, but a bit more 21st Century).*

Anyway, I digress...

I arrived at my parent's place just before 10:30am and parked the car just round the corner so that if they did see it go past, they might not register it as being me.  I then took the presents from the boot and walked round the block so that I could get to the house without passing the windows, and quietly let myself in with the key - the one that I finally got my hands on after they had been there for ten years!

In the living room, I could hear Mum's craft show wittering on about the latest offers so crept up the hallway and stuck my head round the door.  I know, it was a bit risky as you don't know how people will react to an unexpected face appearing inside the house - if it happened to me, I'd freak out.  Then again, from my perspective, it was just as risky as I could have been walking in on some activities not intended for my innocent eyes ... nah, they're my parents, they don't do that kind of thing ... at least, not in the living room, anyway.

Mum was in her usual position, poised over her new DSi XL whilst my Dad was dozing on the other sofa, trying to fight off the latest cold; both were in their nightgowns.

So as not to freak them out too much, I just said a quiet "Hello", thinking I'd just get a bit of a jump and some fuss for turning up unannounced.  It didn't quite work like that and I think I came close to hospitalising Dad from the shock: on hearing my voice, Mum let out a high pitched "Oooooooooooo" noise and jumped up from the sofa, which in turn caused my Dad in his slumber to switch instantly to protect mode and unsuccessfully launch himself off the sofa and land on his knees, ooo-oooooohing like a confused owl.

I think I'll use the doorbell from now on - it's safer that way!



* Shit!  I've had a clean license since 1988** and now it is to be tarnished :-(
** Holy crap, I feel old now - 22 years!!!!
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