Wild and Whacky Stories Needed

In roughly seven weeks, my cousin - whom I will call TT* - will be tying the knot with his fiancé. For some totally insane yet flattering reason, they have asked me to be best man, and tonight I was reminded that I need to sort out something in the way of a speech.

Its not that I'd forgotten about the speech so much as hoping it would write itself at some point, complete with jokes that would make Peter Kaye nod his head in approval: or more importantly, make everyone at the reception laugh so much that they wet themselves - which is a distinct possibility anyway considering some of their ages where a sneeze would have the same result.

However, these things don't write themselves, so I'm going to have to start getting my brain into gear. The trouble is, after a little digging around, I have not been able to uncover a single bit of dirt, comedic or otherwise, which has a tendency to limit the comic possibilities.

So, this is where you come in! I feel a bit bad asking this, like its a bit of a cop-out, but I need as many stories as possible on my cuz and his fiancé that can be used as a basis for the speech.

Failing that, make something up!!!! For those of you that don't know him and need some inspiration, think Gimli without the beard and wild hair.

The best bit of fiction wins ... um ... my belly button fluff!

* short for Teflon Titch, which really explains this entire posting, so I wouldn't bother continuing to read it if I were you.


Cath said…
Sadly you're fully aware of the only story I can provide, and we both know it's highly unsuitable for a wedding! Thankfully!
OddThomas said…
Maybe not suitable for my cousin's wedding but definitely suitable for yours! Can't wait til someone asks for any funny stories about you :-D
Cath said…
I wouldn't hold your breath, no-one's stupid enough to want to marry me!!!
OddThomas said…
One name: Bernie.

Stacy R. said…
Writing speeches is the hardest! What I have done in the past is just see what pre-written speeches come in the cards (try looking around http://www.gatheringguide.com/ec/invitations_design.html or calling some of them to get ideas), and writing a speech around that. Remember, the good news is, the shorter it is, the more people will like it!
OddThomas said…
And the shorter it is, the quicker I can get back to the bar!

Cheers, Stacy :-)
Stacy R. said…
Haha, correct!

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